


Day Off

by Chaos_Valkyrie



Series: Agent O [7]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Days Off, Human Perry, Idiots in Love, M/M, Ocelot Heinz, Pre-Slash, Slow Build, utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 07:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6647146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_Valkyrie/pseuds/Chaos_Valkyrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heinz just wanted to get in, get it over with, then hurry back home to watch his favorite soap opera – the Flynn-Fletchers were out for the day, and the station was having a marathon.</p><p>*****</p><p>aka, How Two Oblivious Boys FAIL at Taking HINTS from the Universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day Off

**Author's Note:**

> Total freaking fluffy crack to make up for last time. Forgotten what we’re waiting for yet…

The next week found Heinz humming to himself as he rode up the elevator to the penthouse level. Specifically, Doctor B’s penthouse apartment.

Major Monogram was a little pissed off with him right now, and while that never bothered Heinz, he had been expressly forbidden to use company resources for this personal mission. I.e., the Major in his pettiness refused to let him use the hover car or jet pack, for this illegal fraternization – his words.

Heinz just wanted to get in, get it over with, then hurry back home to watch his favorite soap opera – the Flynn-Fletchers were out for the day, and the station was having a marathon.

The elevator dinged and Heinz walked down the hall to the bright teal door at the end. He knocked loudly, shifting a little on his hind legs as he adjusted the package in his forearms. The door swung open…

…and Heinz and Doctor B just stood there, blinking at each other.

Heinz had never seen the man like this. Usually, the doctor appeared impeccably dressed, black clothes pressed, shoes shined, lab coat so white it was nearly blinding. Always clean shaven, never a hair out of place. 

If it weren’t for the teal hair, Heinz might wonder if he had the wrong penthouse.

This alternate version of Doctor B wore a faded red bathrobe, scuffed up slippers, and teal flannel pajama pants. His hair looked like he’d just rolled out of bed, and he bore the faintest trace of stubble. There was a tissue balled up in one hand, and he frantically kept glancing back over his shoulder when he wasn’t staring at Heinz in bewilderment.

‘There’s nothing to thwart today,’ he signed quickly, ‘you shouldn’t have gotten a call!’

Heinz, meanwhile, had set his bundle down and was signing back just as frantically. ‘Are you ill? Injured? Got zapped by a Transform-inator?’

Doctor B held his hands up. ‘Start over. Why are you here?’

Heinz picked up his bundle again and handed it to Doctor B. He read the card and snorted, looking over the top of the OWCA issued gift basket at Heinz.

‘It’s a thank you from the others and me for last week,’ Heinz shrugged, looking a little sheepish. But he didn’t regret it – he honestly believed in rewarding good work and giving encouragement when it was due.

Doctor B’s eyes softened, and he shifted the basket to sign a simple, ‘You’re welcome,’ back to Heinz. The two gently smiled at each other for a moment…

…before Heinz’s sharp hearing caught a familiar snappy jingle ring out from behind the suddenly pink-faced scientist. 

Heinz’s eyes widened, then he grinned. ‘Are you watching the Sunrise of Our Lives marathon?’

The doctor nodded, a little embarrassedly. The look disappeared when Heinz frantically signed, ‘What have I missed?!’

*****

Twenty minutes later, and Heinz felt that maybe Monogram’s choice of words were more accurate than they both had anticipated. Or maybe he wasn’t as good an agent as he thought.

After all, he honestly couldn’t picture Peter or any of the other agents casually lounging on their nemesis’s sofa, sharing chips and passing the tissues back and forth while their favorite trashy soap opera played on the flat screen before them.

Heinz knew he shouldn’t feel this relaxed, nor should he have let down his guard so much. All he knew was that after last week, he kinda sorta really trusted the Doctor. And the man looked so unlike his normal self right now, it was easy to disassociate him with his typical evil persona.

Nathanial and Barbara had just declared their undying love and hatred for each other, and were now passionately kissing. Hearing the Doctor blow his nose again cued Heinz to pass over another tissue, eyes still glued to the screen.

*****

Three hours later, and they had steadily worked their way through the gift basket and a whole box of tissues. Heinz honestly hadn’t had this much fun since his and Carl’s last Science-Geek-Out Day.

Every commercial break had them frantically signing back and forth over the finer plot details and debating on what they hoped would happen to their favorite characters.

‘No! Jessica belongs with Enrique – he’s totally sincere and will treat her right,’ Doctor B signed adamantly to Heinz.

‘Claude may be evil, but he loves Jessica and she can totally bring him back to the good side,’ Heinz signed back just as fervently.

*****

An hour later…

“I hate you, but I oddly love you too. You make me want to be good,” Claude emphasized, before sharing a passionate lip-lock with Enrique.

*****

‘I did not see that coming,’ Heinz signed to Doctor B next commercial break.

‘Me neither,’ a wide-eyed Doctor signed back.

Heinz paused. ‘I hope they stay together!’ he signed back enthusiastically.

‘Me too!’ came back just as excitedly.

*****

Next commercial break…

‘That almond brittle sure looked delicious, wish I could’ve gotten some,’ Doctor B signed with a hint of a smile.

Heinz had the decency to look embarrassed, but didn’t feel too guilty about it. ‘It’s my favorite. Move faster next time.’

‘I was afraid of losing a hand. I kind of need those,’ Doctor B signed with a smirk, wiggling his fingers at the end for good measure.

Heinz mewled out a squeaky laugh which had him cringing in embarrassment. Doctor B just smiled fondly in return, before turning back to the screen.

Heinz actively chose to ignore the warmth in his chest.

*****

Five commercial breaks later…

Doctor B held up his phone. ‘Number 7?’

Heinz looked up from the Chinese takeout menu and nodded.

Doctor B punched in the rest of the order.

*****

‘NO Enrique! Jessica was so six episodes ago!’ Doctor B waved at the screen.

‘You bastard! What about Claude?!’ Heinz joined in.

*****

‘I’m so glad Mauroline stepped in and killed Jessica and her demon-possessed twin…’ Heinz enthused as the end credits of the last episode of the marathon rolled.

‘I KNOW. I was really starting to worry about Clenrique.’

‘I thought your favorite was Natbara.’ Heinz teased.

‘I’m more than allowed to change my mind,’ Doctor B sniffed.

The two sat there in comfortable silence, just smiling at each other, just letting the moment naturally end.

The clock tower downtown chimed, and Heinz knew he needed to get back to his kids. Doctor B instinctively knew he had to go too.

‘Same time next week,’ the Doctor signed, and Heinz nodded, getting up and letting himself out.

He felt completely at peace. He didn’t let himself over-think it, just accepted it as he made his way home.

**Author's Note:**

> Enrique. Claude. The universe is hinting, boys. HINTING.


End file.
